Love Goggles

Biting Tongue
After a long conversation about jealousy.

She: ...and so handsome and charming and own a business. What girl wouldn't be attracted?
Me: ...
She: What?
Me: Are you talking about me?

Honestly, I thought she'd changed the subject.


This Just in...

Spike Smirk

People are actually posting on LJ again.

Smoking, with extra geekiness added.


I've been thinking about getting into vaping. You know, ecigarettes. They combine my love of gizmos and sensation. Sort of like my endless quest for the right espresso press and grind.

But I won't vape nicotine.

No. I'll just stick the tip in.

Kick a Ginger Day. I dare you.

Biting Tongue

"To ban the word [ginger] altogether would probably just make it worse and taboo words only become more powerful and more offensive."

Ban it? Be proud of it.

As a member of the ginger race, with many, many gingerettes to my credit, I'll happily give all you dun heads a swirly Bozo shampoo if you dare meet boot to butt.

Don't let this ginger bashing concern you ruby-hairs, stay hued and vibrant, our day of reckoning over the mousy headed is at hand.


Sing it, sister


Self-described 'dissident feminist' Paglia, 66, believes that attempts to deny the biological distinctions between men and women is to blame for the much that is wrong with modern society

She's talking about those gender ideologues who share more in common with early church fathers (Kill the heretic scientists!) than the right wingers they claim to be better than. What I like to call the anti-science Left.

Oh, they talk a good game. There's a gap in the data, they say. The studies have too few  people, haven't been replicated enough. It's nurture, dammit! Social roles! Or other things we can't quantify or prove. Yada yada. It's the poke a hole in the logical argument that holocaust deniers use all the time to make their points.

So let me be clear: Just because nobody has found a lamp shade made out of jews, doesn't mean there were no concentration camps.

Or the argument of climate deniers.

Let me be clear: Just because world temperatures haven't increased in a few years doesn't mean we're not all on a highway to hell.

Preponderance of evidence, people. Look it up.

What Camille Paglia is saying hurts the gender-is-irrelevant crowd's cause because she's one of them. A lefty. A lesbian. But a thinker. Someone who goes where the facts take her, rather than starting with a conclusion and working backwards like these 'politics uber alles' types. She's arguing against these views because they are beliefs not facts. And beliefs unsupported by evidence can lead to bad outcomes.

What I'm saying is that these ideologues are like that wife of the Bishop of Worcester who is said to have exclaimed, ‘My dear, descended from the apes! Let us hope it is not true, but if it is, let us pray that it will not become generally known.’

Let's call these magical thinkers what they are: gender denialists. Men and women may be equal, but they are NOT the same.

Sinfest is the Best

Cowboy Shadow
I only post this because it's true.



Cowboy Shadow
(Archeological Institute, 3003 AD)

"There must be some mistake. A lot can happen to artifacts in a thousand years."

"No mistake. All our ancestors wanted to do was...put it in a hole."

"A hole?"

"Any hole, if you believe some first hand accounts. All day long if they could get away with it."

"Are you talking about holes we no longer have?"

"Fortunately, yes. Except, of course, our one remaining—"

"You're NOT saying!"

"Yes. Sometimes that one. Some even preferred it."

"I've heard enough. What a relief we've evolved."

"There's more."

"You're not seriously going to present these findings, are you?"

"What choice do I have? Besides, this brings up other questions."

"Such as?"

"Did their holes enjoy this activity?"


"Yet males who used artificial holes were considered...odd."

"Dirty primitives. Have you any theories as to why?"

"A cultural hegemony by females to preserve their hole scarcity."

"Like our psionic pleasure union?"


"As a colleague, I must advise you to consider your professional reputation."

"By doing what?"

"I'd present this 'hole' matter as referring to something more mundane..."


"Boring, even. You know, like sex."


"Instead of—what's it called, again?"


"Even the NAME is absurd."

[Inspired by the short story MEAT]

If Only We Had A Fourth Estate

Cowboy Shadow
Ever wonder how a foreign, objective newspaper might write about our country? Wonder no further.


A Poem for Dzhokhar Tsarnaev

Mocking Clown Tongue

Dzhokhar, Dzhokhar
You ran over your brother with your car
After the killin', you were just chillin'
While the media had you tea partying.

College pals say you were swell,
before you blew them all to Hell,
Carnage on the web must have made you high
While Salon wished you were a Christian, white guy.

You could be free to this day,
Collecting welfare and smoking a jay
But you got the munchies, robbed the store for crunchies
And blew that poor cop away.

So tell me, Tsarnaev:

Does killing pop your boner?
you piece of shit stoner
I hope your shot-through throat whistles a tune.

There's no justification for your asshole self
(as your bloody victims looked, you tweeted 'they're cooked')
Not in Islam, or bedlam,
Your heart upon a shelf,
In prison for life, and you'll never get out
Maybe your poor father should have pulled out.

Dedicated to Amanda Palmer