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A Poem for Dzhokhar Tsarnaev

Dzhokhar, Dzhokhar
You ran over your brother with your car
After the killin', you were just chillin'
While the media had you tea partying.

College pals say you were swell,
before you blew them all to Hell,
Carnage on the web must have made you high
While Salon wished you were a Christian, white guy.

You could be free to this day,
Collecting welfare and smoking a jay
But you got the munchies, robbed the store for crunchies
And blew that poor cop away.

So tell me, Tsarnaev:

Does killing pop your boner?
you piece of shit stoner
I hope your shot-through throat whistles a tune.

There's no justification for your asshole self
(as your bloody victims looked, you tweeted 'they're cooked')
Not in Islam, or bedlam,
Your heart upon a shelf,
In prison for life, and you'll never get out
Maybe your poor father should have pulled out.

Dedicated to Amanda Palmer



( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 24th, 2013 12:11 pm (UTC)
Your poetry is bad and you should feel bad.
Apr. 24th, 2013 12:14 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
Apr. 24th, 2013 02:58 pm (UTC)
The poem's no better than Amanda Palmer's, but at least Pasquin knew he was writing bad poetry instead of imagining he was producing something deep and beautiful for the ages. And it shows a better understanding of Dzhokar's character.

I haven't noticed Neil Gaiman being very vocal in his wife's defense -- I'm guessing he's just personally groaning over her act of bad poetry coupled with inept empathy and hoping that everybody forgets about it. I don't envy the man -- he's a good writer who has actually and repeatedly achieved the feat of conveying empathy and sympathy for monsters. But how can he tell his wife that her poetry sucks, and sucks so bad?
Apr. 24th, 2013 06:03 pm (UTC)
Oh Amanda. So embarrassing, sigh.

*puts Dresden Dolls CDs away forever*
Apr. 24th, 2013 06:24 pm (UTC)
She did 'sing for the terrorists, sing.'

I used to love that song.
Apr. 24th, 2013 09:23 pm (UTC)
I must confess I've never heard her before this.

Her magical ukulele Radiohead covers are quite awesome.
Apr. 24th, 2013 09:48 pm (UTC)
Their self-titled album is one of my top 5 breakup albums.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )